The Kids With The Dirty Clothes

We can spot them anywhere in the US.  Their hair may be unkempt.  They may be in the back of the class, dozing off, completely distracted from school.  Other times, they are wandering up and down the streets in town aimlessly and unsupervised, even when maybe they’re supposed to be in school.  Most have a distinct bulge coming from the feet being too big for the small, beat-up shoes they are wearing.  Some may have a couple holes in their shirts.  These are the kids with the dirty clothes. 

We see them.  We may notice their imperfections.  We may even give them a thought.  But we don’t look at them….. not REALLY look at them.  We live in a world of Instagram Filters, so we don’t want to take too much notice of the ugliness in the world.  But, if we did take the time to really look at these kids; we would see the real problem with these kids. 

These kids are sleeping in class because it is hard to get a good night’s sleep when there is no heat; or you are sharing a twin bed with your brothers and sisters.  These kids are roaming the streets because there’s is nothing to entertain them at home; or they’re too embarrassed to invite their friends over.  They may get a new pair of shoes at the start of the school year; but there will be no replacements until the next Fall.  Hand-me-downs are standard; and if they are lucky- there won’t be too many holes.  And throwing a load of laundry on takes lots of consideration when there is limited water. 

Statistics show that there are 50 million people in the United States living below the poverty level.  About 15 million of these people are children.  Research shows that poverty is the single greatest threat to children’s well being.  Its affects spread into every facet of becoming a functional member of society, from education to mental health.  Mississippi had the highest poverty rate of the nation for 2019. So, these children are our children. 

It is easy to put this on someone else’s shoulders. ‘Maybe the kids’ parents should do better. Maybe they should get a job. Maybe they should be better parents.’ We can blame the parents and, in some cases, we wouldn’t be wrong. Let’s face it- in EVERY walk of life, there are some real garbage parents out there. The only difference is that, when a child is living in poverty, there are 10x as many disadvantages already stacked up against him. They say it takes a village to raise a child. When that child is born deep down in a hole and has all the cards stacked against him. The village has to take steps to pull them out of the hole. This should be the first step.

These kids don’t need a new Nintendo. They don’t need the latest Jordans. These kids need consistency and stability. They need a sense of pride in themselves, despite the circumstances they were born into. It is only through consistency, stability and pride that they will develop into thriving members of society. The lack of these foundational assets of life is the reason we are seeing this ongoing cycle in our community today.

So, the question is this: If the children of our community cannot build upon a foundation at home, how will we as a society start to SEE these children and help them build a stable foundation to grow elsewhere? I’ve preached to my own children that it doesn’t matter what the outside world does or takes from you. And it doesn’t matter how much help you receive along the way. Ultimately, the level of success you achieve depends on what’s inside of you. There has to be a sense of self-worth, a desperate drive for success; and a sense of dignity within each person for them to become a contributing member of society.

The possibility and the hope is there. There are countless people who have overcome childhood poverty and gone on to become some of the most successful people in the nation. Somewhere, at some point in time, for these once impoverished children, someone REALLY saw them and acknowledged their worth. As we walk around this town, with its neglected buildings and houses, and we gripe about the lack of business opportunities and the lack pride in our community, let us take a moment to stop and really see the children also being neglected and their own lack of pride within themselves. For, if these children are not seen now, we will be griping about them in the future. The current state of our community is proof.

Do I have all the solutions to help these children? Heck no!!! But when I am faced with a problem, I try to find a solution. So, I guess that is what today’s blog is about. Who has a suggestion on how we can really see our community’s children and instill in them the self-worth that every one of God’s children is entitled to?

If you are reading this and have a suggestion- please comment. If you are reading this and have no idea what we can do about it- please share this blog. We are the village. These are our children. This is our community’s future. We can point fingers. We can get angry with the system. We can get angry with each other. But none of these things will improve the situation.

And because I always find comfort in food. And because everyone is entitled to a good meal without breaking the bank. And in sticking with my blog’s format. And because it is SO GOOD… I’ve found a recipe for this week that everyone can enjoy for cheap!!!

POOR MAN’S BURRITO BOWLS (www.budgetbytes.com)

Ingredients

  • 2 cups uncooked long grain white rice ($1.32)
  • 1/2 tsp salt ($0.02)
  • 2 15 oz. cans black beans ($0.98)
  • 1/2 tsp cumin ($0.05)
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder ($0.02)
  • 1 16 oz. jar salsa ($2.37)
  • 6 oz. shredded cheese* ($1.27)
  • 1 bunch green onions ($0.89)
  • 1 jalapeño (optional) ($0.15)

Instructions

  • Add the rice, salt, and 3 cups water to a medium sauce pot. Place a lid on top, turn the heat on to high, and allow the water to come up to a full boil. Once boiling, turn the heat down to low and let it continue to simmer for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, turn the heat off and let it sit, with the lid in place, for an additional five minutes. Fluff just before serving.
  • While the rice is cooking, make the beans. Add both cans of black beans (undrained) to a small sauce pot, along with the cumin, and garlic powder. Heat over medium, stirring often, until heated through.
  • Slice the green onions and jalapeño (if using).
  • Once the rice is cooked, build the bowls. Add one cup cooked rice, 1/2 cup warm black beans, 1/3 cup salsa, and 1 oz. shredded cheese (about 1/4 cup) to each bowl. Top with a few sliced green onions and jalapeños, then serve.

Love Is Weird

Statistics show that we will meet an average of 10,000 people in our lifetime. Of these people, 84 percent will practice a specific faith. 72 percent will be identified as white. Less than 10 percent will be LGBT. It can be assumed 90 percent of these people are not serial killers. Some of these people will have a quiet nature about them. Some of them (like my husband) will come through a room like the Kool Aid Man bursting through the wall. Some of these people will have brown eyes; while others have blue or green. Some of these people will be creative and free-spirited. Some of these people will be intellectuals. All of these people will be beautiful in their own right. But, one day, we just look at one of these people and think, “I love you.” What is it about this person that made you decide to love? How love actually works is a mystery that men of all walks of life have tackled since the beginning of time.

Now I didn’t know this; but apparently there are four specific types of love. You can have an empathetic love for someone. This is developed through a shared circumstance. Tragedy has a way of bringing us together as the survival instincts kick in. Of course there’s the God love- the unconditional love that only a parent could possibly understand. Then you have a friendship bond like the one I share and treasure with Vickey. We met as babies; have shared secrets and sins, happiness and tragedy; and nothing will ever break our bond. And then there’s the complicated love. The romantic love. The love that will drive you to drink. The love that will break your heart. The love that we all crave. And it is this love that just jumps out of nowhere. We just meet one of the 10,000 people we are destined to meet; and there it is, our missing puzzle piece; sitting among 10,000 other pieces. And it’s a perfect fit.

I should’ve never gone out with my husband. I had just gotten out of a 20-year toxic relationship. I was traumatized. I was deathly insecure. I was, for lack of better words, shook. But I had known him forever; spotted him on the side of the highway; and decided to stop and say “hi”. He was not for me. He was wild and unpredictable. He was a confirmed bachelor; and he had no idea of the craziness he was about to encounter. But, there it was- my little missing puzzle piece. And, before I knew it; I invited him over for a movie and drink.

I have met lots of people in this world. Some are gay. Some are shy. Some are rich. Some are poor. Most are crazy because crazy attracts crazy. And I had known David all his life. But on that day, at that point in my life, no one else I had met in this world was the fit. And even though he wasn’t a fit in the past; on that specific day Slingshot was the perfect fit. Strange how that works.

If you write down our attributes on a piece of paper, we were never supposed to work. He had zero responsibilities; and loved it that way. I was trying to rebuild my entire life with two children, a cat and a dog in tow. But when we were together, it was a perfect fit; and has been that way ever since. That’s usually the way it works with love. It’s an emotion, it’s not physical. Therefore it cannot be planned or contrived. It just happens; and it’s usually beyond our control. We can fight it if we want. But love usually wins in the end.

Love is powerful. More powerful than any emotion. I can only imagine that God gave man this emotion because He wanted us to have some idea of how He felt for us. Because love is not something that you can touch or see; he had to give us the emotion so we could experience it ourselves. Unfortunately, as times have become more strained and complicated; in an attempt to better our world; and jump on the revolution bandwagon, we’ve repressed any human emotion that can be perceived as weak. Love being the biggest victim. If everyone would just realize that love is more powerful than hate- then we could have a true revolution together as one. But it seems like love has lost its popularity.

In this day and age, we want a direct and immediate answer for everything. We don’t appreciate the unknown; we only crave instant gratification. But my aunt has told me numerous times that the heart is as deep and as mysterious as the sea. It is in the heart where love dwells. And, unfortunately, we can’t just yell out, “Alexa! Explain these emotions I am feeling for this random person that just came into my life.” That’s not how this works.

Our life is a huge puzzle, made up of a thousand little pieces. We have a picture of what it is supposed to look like. We have all the equipment to get it done. But, we have to take our time, try out each individual piece and see how or where it fits in our lives. Sometimes it works perfectly, other times, we have to wait until we get further along before we can utilize it. Sometimes the edges are smooth and we can pick them up and put them down without a hitch. Others are razor sharp and cut us; but they still belong in there somewhere. And, in the end, when it is all said and done; and we have met those 10,000 people we are destined to meet; and done all the crazy things we are destined to do- we will have a complete picture of our life.

That completed puzzle will have four corners holding it all together. And just like in our hearts, it is in those four corners where our four loves dwell. The empathetic love we have garnered over the years of experience will be in one corner. Those friendships we have built that have cried and laughed with us will be in another corner. And, in that third corner will be your person that your soul found. The one that made your heart beat fast; and calmed your nerves all at the same time. And in that last corner, the strongest corner of all, that starting pieces lies. And in this piece is the unconditional love of God.

Welcome To My Kitchen

I come from a long maternal line of “non-cookers”.  My mom could only cook homemade biscuits, albeit the best biscuits I’ve ever tasted.  Everything else we ate came from a can or the frozen food section.  My grandmother’s cooking was mediocre at best.  As a matter of fact, I think I’ve blocked out most of her cooking.  I loved my grandmother and she provided the nutritional needs of eight kids and eighteen grandchildren.  She provided our nutritional needs; but not our cravings.

It wasn’t until recently that I became interested in cooking.  With a new marriage, a woman gets a new sense of femininity.  And, with that newfound femininity, you have the urge to explore all aspects of being a woman, both old and new.  The maternal instincts kick in; and you want to provide for, nurture, and comfort your family.  Falling in love with my husband also made me fall in love with cooking.

I love to plan and prep for a meal.  I love thinking of my audience and the mood I want to set.  I love finding the perfect Spotify soundtrack to blare in the kitchen as I dance around the stove.  And I absolutely love watching people take that first bite of something I’ve made just for them!  There really is no comparison to the high you get when you can visually see the little moment of joy you’ve given someone with your cooking.

A good meal is more than just some ingredients thrown together.  A good meal is an expression of love.   Thought goes into it. A good meal takes and evokes feeling.  And a very good meal will serve as a memory trigger and a source of comfort and reflection during the hard times.  You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I found myself down and out while living on the coast, just thinking to myself, ‘I could really use one of my Aunt Tammy’s chili and slaw burgers.’  Mind you, the burger literally consisted of mayonnaise, cabbage and chili.  But it wasn’t the ingredients I needed so badly.  It was the feeling of comfort that I felt being in my Aunt Tammy’s kitchen, playing dominoes with my cousins, eating a chili burger and fries.

So that’s what brings me to this new chapter in my life.  Once I discovered the “art” of cooking; and the power of a good meal, I  realized that food , much like music, and transcending.  Everyone, despite race, religious or political affiliation, loves some good ass food!

Because food equals happiness, I want to explore its depths; and share it with you.  Here, I will share your recipes and memories and try to bring as much comfort and happiness to the world as my Aunt Tammy’s 3-ingredient chili/slaw burger does for me!

So…. Welcome to my kitchen and welcome to “If This Kitchen Could Talk”.

I come from a long maternal line of “non-cookers”.  My mom could only cook homemade biscuits, albeit the best biscuits I’ve ever tasted.  Everything else we ate came from a can or the frozen food section.  My grandmother’s cooking was mediocre at best.  As a matter of fact, I think I’ve blocked out most of her cooking.  I loved my grandmother and she provided the nutritional needs of eight kids and eighteen grandchildren.  She provided our nutritional needs; but not our cravings.

It wasn’t until recently that I became interested in cooking.  With a new marriage, a woman gets a new sense of femininity.  And, with that newfound femininity, you have the urge to explore all aspects of being a woman, both old and new.  The maternal instincts kick in; and you want to provide for, nurture, and comfort your family.  Falling in love with my husband also made me fall in love with cooking.

I love to plan and prep for a meal.  I love thinking of my audience and the mood I want to set.  I love finding the perfect Spotify soundtrack to blare in the kitchen as I dance around the stove.  And I absolutely love watching people take that first bite of something I’ve made just for them!  There really is no comparison to the high you get when you can visually see the little moment of joy you’ve given someone with your cooking.

A good meal is more than just some ingredients thrown together.  A good meal is an expression of love.   Thought goes into it. A good meal takes and evokes feeling.  And a very good meal will serve as a memory trigger and a source of comfort and reflection during the hard times.  You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I found myself down and out while living on the coast, just thinking to myself, ‘I could really use one of my Aunt Tammy’s chili and slaw burgers.’  Mind you, the burger literally consisted of mayonnaise, cabbage and chili.  But it wasn’t the ingredients I needed so badly.  It was the feeling of comfort that I felt being in my Aunt Tammy’s kitchen, playing dominoes with my cousins, eating a chili burger and fries.

So that’s what brings me to this new chapter in my life.  Once I discovered the “art” of cooking; and the power of a good meal, I  realized that food , much like music, and transcending.  Everyone, despite race, religious or political affiliation, loves some good ass food!

Because food equals happiness, I want to explore its depths; and share it with you.  Here, I will share your recipes and memories and try to bring as much comfort and happiness to the world as my Aunt Tammy’s 3-ingredient chili/slaw burger does for me!

So…. Welcome to my kitchen and welcome to “If This Kitchen Could Talk”.

Just remember one rule- spread love; and put your dirty dishes in the sink!

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.