Purposeful Rebellion

I am raising three kids, am married to who was once the town hellion, and have had a few shady moments myself.  So, I have had quite a bit of experience with rebellion.  Like most parents, I get frustrated with it; but I feel like, in a way I welcome it too.  As if it were a living, breathing creature of my past coming back to haunt me with all the long, sleepless nights I gave my poor mother; I face the rebellious act head-on, with bated breath I whisper, “Bring it on!  Been there, and done it all before!”  I always knew, in the back of my head, that the day would come when karma would kick my rebellious teenage self right in the freaking face.  Well, karma has come three-fold.  Each child is different; and rebels against my rules in different ways and for different reasons.

It’s actually funny how the circle of life comes around.  David Rainey raised every type of hell there was to raise in this little one-horse town.  He thought he was getting off scott-free until he married me and inherited three children!  I, on the other hand, knew full well that the day would come when my kids would give me the same heartache I once gave my own parents.  I was expecting it.  I welcome it.  But, I don’t think anyone can ever be fully prepared for it- no matter how long we try.

I always make the kids write an essay as part of their punishment.  I do this for a couple of reasons- firstly, I love writing and I love to see how others view things.  Secondly, I want to force them to think about why I may be upset by whatever it is they have done; maybe develop some empathy for the situation; and realize that rules are in place for a reason and should be respected.  Honestly, sometimes, after reading their essays, I learn a few things myself.  Between the three kids, we have written essays (with a cited bibliography) on various topics from sportsmanship, to the difficulties of being a single mom, to cheating, to the importance self- evaluation and responsibility.

I think my favorite essay so far has been the last essay Walker had to write for me.  I think it was on being appreciative of others affection towards you; but I’m not quite sure.  What stuck with me on this essay was the last lines he wrote.  “I am sick and tired of you making me write these essays.  I get it.  I am still growing and will make mistakes.  You don’t have to keep on.”  At first, I was furious!  He literally rebelled against his punishment for rebelling!   This was equivalent to a boy laughing in the face of his dad trying to spank him.  What was I to do?!

Then it dawned on me.  He got it.  He realizes what I was trying to force him to do.  He was thinking about what he had done on his own.  It was time for me to let him grow a little on his own and learn from his mistakes.  After all, isn’t that what rebellion is all about any ways~ learning and growing and branching out from the norm to start anew?  He never had to write another essay again.  He’s made more mistakes, for sure; but I’ve stood back and allowed him the time and space to think about these mistakes and take a lesson from them.  The other two, on the other hand, well…… they’re still writing essays and hate every minute of it!

But, where would we be if a couple of us hadn’t rebelled against the norm?  Where would we be if Rosa Parks never said a word about sitting in the back of the bus?  Where would we be if Susan B. Anthony never thought her opinion mattered?  Elvis Costello sang, “I want to bite the hand that feeds me.”  He became famous for his rebellious behavior, even being banned from Saturday Night Live for about a decade for deliberately singing a song he was asked not to sing.  This act of rebellion cost him SNL, but cemented his place in pop culture history as one of the most beloved rock and roll rebels.

Rebellion is an innate human psychological stepping stone.  Every person has to go through a rebellious stage in order to grow emotionally.  The key is to take a couple lessons from this stage to carry on to the next stage- adulthood.  Rebellion with purpose should be embraced.  It should be coddled, it should be groomed; but allowed to have space at the same time. After all, this country was founded by a couple young rebels; and continues to grow and mature through young rebels.  And, eventually, the time will come when the fun and excitement of rebelling will fade away; and the act of rebelling will become more purposeful.  Of course, a couple essays along the way never hurt anyone!!!

“I want to bite the hand that feeds me.”  While this may be a poignant expression of rebellion to some; it should be viewed as a purposeful one.  The main goal of any parent, no matter what race, religion or creed, is for our children to have it better than we did.  In order for them to achieve this; there has to be some rebellion against the past- in order to make space for a growing future.  There must be a time when our own will rebel against our ways in order to have a future.  For us teenage parents barely making it through this stage of crying and fighting and (in my case) essay writing, our only light of hope is the future leaders we are raising.  And our only job, at some point, is to pray for them and let them learn without an essay.  Eventually, they all will bite the hands that once fed them.  Otherwise, we will be feeding them for the rest of their stagnant lives.  In the meantime, pray for them, love them, laugh with them, and cry with them when the lessons they learn are hard ones.

This week’s recipe is a fun and quirky recipe that the teenagers will surely find delightful and is quick and easy for those long game nights.  Less stress for the long haul of teenage-hood!!!

Waffled Pizza Dippers

INGREDIENTS

• 1 ³⁄₄ cups shredded mozzarella cheese
• ¹⁄₄ cup shredded parmesan cheese
• ¹⁄₂ teaspoon dried basil leaves
• ¹⁄₂ teaspoon dried oregano leaves
• 2 (8 ounce) cans refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
• 1 (14 ounce) jar pizza sauce
• 32 small pepperoni slices

DIRECTIONS

• Heat waffle maker with 8-inch-square cooking surface on Medium-High heat setting.
• In medium bowl, mix both cheeses, basil and oregano; set aside.
• In 1 1/2-quart saucepan, heat pizza sauce over low heat, stirring occasionally, until hot. Place in small serving bowl.
• Unroll both cans of dough onto work surface. Separate each crosswise, making four (7-by-6-inch) rectangles; firmly press perforations to seal.
• Place 1 dough rectangle on bottom surface of heated waffle maker, being careful not to open up perforations. Quickly sprinkle 1 cup cheese mixture evenly on top of dough. Place half the slices of pepperoni evenly over cheese mixture. Top with another dough rectangle; close waffle maker. Bake 2 to 3 minutes or until sandwich is golden brown.
• With pancake turner, remove from waffle maker; place on cutting board. Cool 30 seconds before cutting.
• Cut into square sandwiches or triangular snacks.
• Repeat with remaining dough, cheese mixture and pepperoni.