Straight guys are weird and complicated creatures. I know this is not the standard opinion of today’s mainstream society; but if you really think about it, it’s true. Women are natural nurturers. We are born to have empathy for others and have an instinctual need to take care of others. We are emotionally expressive. If we are sad it’s easier for us to cry. If we are happy, we shout t from the rooftops. And if we are upset, well, you BEST watch your back! That is why it is easier for us to make long-lasting close friendships. Once we form a sisterhood of other women who understand our emotional needs, we hold to them tightly and take care of one another in every aspect.
For a straight guy, it’s frowned upon to be so expressive. If they show sadness, they are deemed weak. If they are too happy, they are clowns. And if they have an emotional outburst they are looked at as a stereotypical jerk! This is why believe most straight guys are unequipped to form bonds and friendships that extend beyond locker room talk. They can’t open up! They don’t feel safe enough to do so without judgment. That s why it is so special to see a bromance blooming!
For those that aren’t aware a bromance is a special brotherhood formed between two straight men. Those in a bromance share each other’s deep dark secrets, talk to one another like they would a brother; and have an unabashedly sense of loyalty to one another. It’s rare, but it is beautiful. And I have had the distinct pleasure to witness two bromances first hand.
When we first moved here our children knew no one. I wasn’t worried about Jane Abner. She was the kid that would invite herself in for dinner or a tour of your home while Trick-Or-Treating! That girl has never met a stranger or intimidated by anyone. She will be a great politician one day, or the Queen Bee on Cell Block 6- whichever path she chooses to take. My son, Walker, was the one I was worried about. Until recently, he hated to meet new people. Hated it! And his conversations within anyone outside of immediate family consisted of quick, one-worded answers. So when I uprooted us and moved almost 300 miles away, I prayed hard to God to please send Walker some good friends.
As a concerned mother, I was so relieved when God answered my prayer with Brad Childs. This kid had no idea the chaos and dysfunction he was getting himself into; but he stayed committed and has formed a bromance with my son that warms the heart of everyone who gets to see it. Those two kids have an unwavering trust between each other, and remain furiously loyal to one another through all that life throws their way. Sometimes they are the good influence on the other. Sometimes they are the bad influence. But as long as those two are together, I know they’ll get one another through this roller coaster of life just fine and continue to be there when school dances turn into first dances at weddings and Saturday night parties will become Friday football games with their own kids.
The other bromance that I love so much is that between my husband and his best friend Joey. These men are grown with children and jobs of their own. But the romance is still going strong. Rarely does a day go by without them checking in with one another. And they drop everything to answer a call for help from the other. They are so intertwined that when we became engaged, the person most people were concerned about adjusting to our new blended family was Joey! He and David had lived together for so long, that it was hard to imagine them living separately. Honestly, I kinda expected David to split his time between the two households. I may be the love of David’s life; but I think deep-down, Joey is his soul mate. They share secrets I never want to know about. And can almost speak a language of their own, built on years and years of shared memories. It really is a beautiful friendship. That is why I felt I had to get Joey’s final okay before we proceeded down the wedding aisle. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I felt our marriage was breaking up such a bromance.
Another sweet bromance I recently heard about was one between Artie Cobb and Buddy Mohammed. Though they were grade-school friends the real bromance between the two didn’t blossom until they found themselves owning businesses across the street from one another. Soon morning cups of coffee together grew into trip adventures and eventually a full-blown bromance. Still mourning the loss of one of his closest friends years after his death, Buddy submitted one of Artie’s favorite desserts to the “Share Cropper” cookbook in his memory. Who knows the memories those two old men shared over coffee in the morning and an occasional toddie at night? And we will never know, for one never breaks the code of the bromance!
“I love you, man” is usually followed by a drunken jab to the arm, without the least bit of sentiment among straight guys. But if the bromance is real, then no words have to be spoken. As women, instead of building up the “Goliath” persona in our men, we should allow them to be just as open and honest about the relationships they need too. It’s all good, man. You can even get in your pajamas and eat a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream if you want. BUT you best get your own; and stay the heck away from mine! Better yet- try some of Artie’s Delight. It obviously brought a smile to his and Buddy’s faces. So here’s to bromances, young and old. May the two kids that paint the town red together grow up to be the old men that eat desserts and reminisce about the good times.
ARTIE’S DELIGHT
1 (6 1/4 oz) package of miniature white marshmallows
1 (16 oz) box pound cake mix prepared according to package directions
1 pint strawberries (fresh or frozen)
Spread one layer of marshmallows in glass casserole dish. Pour pound cake mixture over marshmallows. Spread strawberries over cake mixture. Follow baking instructions on box for cake. When done, the marshmallows and strawberries will trade places.
Lessons Learned From The Rainbow 